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What did I learn from my Social Media Blackout? I gained more than I lost…and since that’s usually the case with the amount of pounds on my fat ass… I’ll take it!

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I lasted a week. Well, to be completely honest, I did hop on Facebook late, late Saturday night and change my cover photo to “Absolutely Fabulous”. Edina and Patsy are running and hoofing it toward the finish line with the caption “Run, Darling, There’s Booze At The Finish Line”. A few of my friends picked up on the irony of that choice. A week WITHOUT social media brings me back feeling…well, absolutely fabulous. I have been running more, and I did have a glass of wine tonight after running three miles today–to celebrate that fact. And the fact that I got a SHIT TON done NOT being on Facebook or Twitter for a week. If you somehow missed it (for all of your sakes, I hope you did), there are seven days worth of my meanderings about when not consumed with social media, as I usually am. It’s a problem, I admit it, and it was something that my friend and coworker Nicole and I talked about doing. One of us was complaining that it takes up too much time and that things aren’t getting done in the time it takes up. Nicole agreed and we were on the path to doing this. I came away from it with much more of an appreciation for NOT being on there as much, as my productivity tripled. I even finished the book of short stories that I’ve been stuck on for eight months, and that in itself is a cause for celebration for this lazy pants! My companion in this merry adventure? Complained endlessly about being “bored”. “Bored”. I asked her what she got done and was told not much, and there were a litany of reasons why things didn’t get done. And a lot of them revolving AROUND people she’s met and messaged like a fiend through Facebook. SO….my next adventure- next week- for all of you breathing a HUGE sigh of relief at my absence, will be Sunday, October 4-Saturday, October 10. With the lovely Lissa, who like me, seems strapped for time to get all of the things done she needs to, and then some, as well as posting quite a bit lately that she’s spending too much time on Facebook. I hope Lissa has fun with it as I did, and I look forward to my second adventure sans social media.

To put it into perspective:
I write three blogs regularly- the book, the wine, and this, my venting and nonsense blog. The book one had seen a whopping TWO POSTS in two weeks. The wine ONE POST in two weeks. FOL(this one) hadn’t seen a post in over three months. My normal reading speed had dwindled to reading one book over a period of a whole week. A book based on the ABC television program Castle. Which is one of the FEW shows I actually watch. In case you didn’t figure it out, I’m not a huge TV person. And those books are normally ones done in days, yet it took me A WEEK to read something that normally takes me a day or two. Why? Why? Because I kept refreshing that fucking Facebook newsfeed thinking that something earth-shattering would be missed if I didn’t spend hours on there scrolling. No thank you. No more. I use Facebook as a lifeline, at least the past three years. My dad lives with me and I’m his full-time caregiver. He’s 83 with a ton of health problems, and none of it is getting better. There are many dark days where I see him reduced to a state that no one wants to see the person who brought them into the world reduced to. There were many dark days where his illnesses have made him snap on me, and my sensitive side couldn’t take it and cried. Many days in three years, my friends. I am not ashamed of those days, but I am also not ashamed to admit that many of those days/nights when I just couldn’t for the life of me think I was strong enough to handle it all, there was Facebook. And the many wonderful friends who I have made and whom have been through similar situations and whom let me vent and talk my way out of the funk. Many wonderful kind words from strangers, and even some of the wonderful radio DJ friends whom I have made on Facebook through my often rabid obsession with their radio stations, with song requests or kind words, or even bad puns, cheered many a dark day and night (and that’s not even covering the hospital visits or his stays in and out over the past three years). The point is, THAT is what I love about social media. As well as the obvious posts to get people to check out, follow, and comment on those various blogs I write. To do some good. To raise money for cancer charities (PS- FUCK YOU CANCER). To do GOOD. Some use it to “hook up”, to “fangirl”, to “message about hooking up”, etc.. I use it as a LIFELINE and a CREATIVE OUTLET. I do my best to brighten people’s days, even if I get yelled at by some of my friends for sending them emails telling them to have a good day. Tip to those folks- if you have brightened many of my days, I will repay in kind. Words. Deal with it. Fuckers.

Anyway, being away made me miss my friends, but it also made me realize that the older I get, the more I need that lifeline, but it’s idle nonsense for me. Idle nonsense meaning a lot of nonsense that makes me sit idle. Not getting things done. Not wanting to move. Not wanting to do normal everyday things. Which leads to laziness. It leads to things piling up and frustration that you have spent hours trolling feeds about Donald Trump and animals being killed. No, thank you. I would rather not be there and get some things done. I’m easily distracted by all the wrong things, so it’s time to turn the tables and see if the social media is the root of all evil as far as procrastination station in G’s wheelhouse. And guess what? Yep. No question. Overall, it’s hard to argue with the numbers:
ONE WEEK WITHOUT:
15 books read.
37 blogs posted
The short stories project completed
3 boxes of books donated
3 boxes of old clothes, coats, and shoes donated to the AmVets.
I cooked all meals all 7 days.
I went to the gym and worked out every morning- which I haven’t done, in all truthiness, since June.
I cleaned half of the shit out of my house.
Cleaned my furnace filters and got things ready for winter (replacing all alarm batteries, etc)
Spent more time with my new neighbor Linda, who moved in LAST SEPTEMBER, and whose only true contact with me was to knock on the door when I almost burnt my house down burning something and when I was blasting music too loud (I think it was the Dead Or Alive sing-along when I was sicker than a dog and made me lose my voice) one night. She is truly lovely, and I am truly sticking my size 7 up my ass in not being more friendly before now. Why? Rushing in the house in case I was missing the end of the William Hung return, posted on Facebook. Don’t worry, that’s a joke. I think he’s still enjoying his ten minutes of fame over in Guam.
Spent a lot of quality time with my dad and cat, making me realize I am more like my dad than I realized. It also made me realize Sasha really does have two personalities. Despite my spending great time with him, he continues to be indifferent. Unless there’s food around. He likes chicken, in case you ever visit me. Bring him chicken anything and he’ll be your Gemini cat friend for life. Otherwise, bring your suit of armor. You may need it!
I got a ton of new inspiration from those around me, for new things to write. Gotta love that. Because you’re actually listening to your coworkers and friends and not trolling the webs on your phone like some Instagram Kylie Jenner fan. Tyga, I mean you, you big pig. You’re tuned in, not tuned out while tuning in. Got that, you Allan Ginsburg fan?
Finally watched two entire series: “Luther” and what’s been on of “Gotham” so far.
Watched 5 different movies.
Re-watched and reawakened my love of “Absolutely Fabulous” and “Doctor Who”.
I had time to sit and listen to the new Duran Duran. In its entirety. Over and over. To gauge what I’m hearing and try to come to terms with it. As well as just plain enjoying it.

So, in a nutshell, a ton of things realized and finished while I was gone for a week. So if I come and go a bit from now on, it’s all for the sake of things MOVING. I need all of my friends and acquaintances on Facebook and Twitter, and I love you all, but I love the fact that life is too short to let it pass me by. Friends of mine may be content with being wired into every social media forum possible, and the second that notification sounds or the phone buzzes, they’re on there and not giving a shit about anything else, to the point of outright rudeness, but knowing that I have the willpower to turn that off now and keep it off for an extended period of time, for my own sense of purpose, well, that’s a pretty profound and powerful knowledge. I choose it. I choose to do something with that knowledge. Not just ruminate on how my life is so boring and things remain undone to the point of frustration incorporated, but to actually do something and get things done. I’m not playing a violin here, nor gesturing for applause or kudos, I’m simply stating what I discovered. And I am guilty of all of these things that I’ve turned my nose up at here, but I learn from my shortcomings (Not my height. Shut up) and do something about it. Repeatedly. Life- get out from that hypnotic state your computer, Smartphone, or IPhone has put you under, and go outside, take a breath of fresh air, and discover that there is SO MUCH going on in the REAL world. And go live your life. And enjoy yourself. Damn it. 🙂

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Day 6 & Day 7 of SMB. When Mercury Retrograde makes itself known, I decide I want to eat everything in my sight, and I wonder how much Van Morrison is too much Van Morrison

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I’m combining the 6th and 7th day of SMB, because I don’t have enough on either day to make a full blog post. Friday and Saturday at the bookstore were CRAZY. Mostly due to odd things happening that could only be attested to… Mercury Retrograde. Go ahead and laugh, non-believers. When your hulking mass of metal doesn’t start, we’ll talk (I refer to a car, not your robotic chew toy)…. And then…a whole lot of nothing. Or if you’re me and decide that you want to act like a squirrel saving up nuts for winter, you eat a ridiculous amount of food. Ridiculous!

Ridiculously excited that K-Hits is giving away ANOTHER trip to Hawaii next week. So I can fail spectacularly again at not even qualifying. Harder than you think, bitches. I dare you to try!

That Redskins/Giants game Thursday night? I fell asleep TWICE during it- and I wasn’t even tired when I sat down to watch it.

Leave Patrick Kane alone.

More Pope excitement. That speech was great. I told Andrew at work that I like this guy better than the previous–namely, because this one seems down to earth and isn’t complaining about his fancy red Italian loafers.

Credit card terminals not settling. Computer program crashing AFTER opening procedures are done. Still no explanation as to why. #Merc

I have a taste for buffalo grilled shrimp. At 8:35am. WTF?

I think Jen Z and I have to reinstitute the “Jim Croce Mosh”. I keep hearing him on the morning K. Seems like it’s a sign to start the moshing again.

Thursday night- went for a 2-mile walk. Best night of the year, weather wise. I notice the moon is close to full. Oh no. Oh hell no.

Psychedelic Coloring Book?
Doctor Who coloring book?
How about Dr Pepper?
Dr. Orange Julius?
Doctor, Doctor, Can’t You See, I’m Burning, Burning???? #ThompsonTwins

Cubbies in the playoffs! Cubbies in the playoffs! Cubbies in the playoffs!!!

No one opening with me Sat. Holly’s car died. Of course. Goatis to the rescue!

I will eat all the gluten-free cupcakes myself. I will, I will! (I don’t even eat one. Crazy bookstore!)

I wish I were 10 years older than I am so I could have experienced some of 1967. What a great year for music! #WXRTSaturdayMorningFlashback

I already know what I’m going to be for Halloween. Single. Not a costume I have to buy. or fake. I wear it 365 days, bitches!

I have never hated MK so much in my life. I love MK, but two of the most annoying, pushy, attention grabby, greedy for time to be spent on them about a whole lot of nothing, ladies book the room for quite a few days. The process of setting up for the room is simple. These ladies take it to all new levels of ridiculous. The one needs all the help she can get because her mug looks like a reverse Mount Rushmore, the other looks like she raided Snooki’s closet. Good luck to us in the next few months.

Found Lady Rebecca’s lost IPod. Cleaning out the cabinet at work. Forgot how much Johnny Cash there is to be listened to. And KMFDM. Yes!

The later Beatles catalog is starting to appeal more than the early Beatles, which has always been my favorite. Dammit, Dan!

Friday’s lunch: An Arby’s Junior
A potato cake
A polish with mustard
A giant slice of pizza

Saturday’s lunch: Appetizer, chips and salsa, and an entrée at Pepe’s. And iced tea. For boring.

I probably ate more calories at Friday and Saturday lunches than the rest of the week. I must be pregnant with the non-real clown child.

Doctor Who- Part 2- GREAT. Off to a great start this year. Still don’t like Clara. Missy is great. Case closed. No spoilers.

Goatis helped me pick out a new journal because I wrote so much this past week OFF the webs that I needed a new journal. Yep. You can’t argue with progress. You can, however, argue with a whore over whether she keeps the heels on.

Methodical and science ARE linked. If you think they’re not, well, you just proved the point.

Upon leaving Pepe’s, a hot bald man going into my gym. No ring. Excellent. Oh dammit, going back to work. #Dammit

Put on the Van Morrison Greatest on the IPod. Dan and I notice hours later that the songs are cycling through. How much Van is too much Van? That was!

Books read: 2
Blogs written: 3

That’s all. Tomorrow’s post will be what I learned overall this week. For there are a lot of lessons in this. And I care to share. Unfortunate for all of you, however…..

DAY 5: SMB15! The Pope Comes to Town and Morning Toast will never be the same!

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Day 5 has come and gone in SMB15. I am convinced that I am the one coming away from this convinced that it was the best thing I’ve done in a long time. The other party in this? Ms. Nicole? Pretty sure she’s “bored” for life without social media and can’t find anything to do but fight the masses due to not spending every waking moment on social media. At least it kick-started my idle engines. I can’t say the same for her. Only she could say what it has/hasn’t done for her. But seriously, I recommend it to anyone who’s stuck in neutral.

Today, due to working a longer day than normal and tons of extracurricular bullshit, not a lot of tangible things were accomplished..BUT I did have some funny thoughts and ideas from today’s day of abstinence from the web.

Randomness:

What the fuck is National Pot Pie Day? Is there a National Gluten Free Pot Pie Day? And why would ANYONE proclaim this a day of importance? With all the fabulous food out there, who would champion this?

McDonald’s- at least the one by me- proclaims on their sign “Breakfast Is Liberated”…leading most of us to believe that they’ve started earlier than Oct 6th in their attempts to do breakfast all day. My coworker and I excitedly pull up and find out- BULLSHIT!- only boring ass breakfast like Egg McMuffins are “liberated” for all day purchase..not my beloved bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit. I had texted my coworker and we discussed that bullshit. WHITE CASTLE, however, has their ENTIRE breakfast menu available all day. All of it. And it isn’t bad, for the record. McDonalds, with your false advertising.. you, clown keeper, can suck it!

Hey- Anson Williams! SHUT THE FUCK UP! How’d I think this guy was cute growing up?

Netflix update: Finished “Luther”. Again, what took me so long? Should have listened to Dave and Felicia years ago on that one.
Began watching “Gotham”. Not too bad.

Work- good, except Mercury makes itself known in Telephone Games. Innumerable hang-ups, customers calling to inquire about books and their phones mysteriously stopping mid-call. This happens to at least 4 different customers…so it wasn’t isolated. Curtis, my coworker, gets a call about whether we have ‘oils’. Since this new adult coloring book craze is in full swing, he inquires if it’s oil paints…. I think “cooking oils”, but that’s because I’m hungry and it’s past feeding time at my zoo. They tell him “anointing oils” and he says no, and hangs up puzzled. Maybe for the Pope….

Carson Daly is a twerp.

Finished Bernard Sumner’s book…a lot better than Hooky’s book, in my opinion. Bernard doesn’t speak of himself in third person and that goes a long way.

Argue with myself over what Netflix series is next- likely Torchwood despite what Goatis says of it. John Barrowman can swing a series a long way.

Why the fuck is Jen Z blowing up my phone over a guy she knew 20 years ago? Last time I saw or heard from her was when Mercury was around earlier this year…so let’s blame it on Mercury.

Of all the things I’ve heard the past few days with the Pope in the past few days, “Feast On Pope Toast” has got to be the strangest one.

So there’s the ever exciting update! Onto Day 6!

SOCIAL MEDIA BLACKOUT, DAY 4: Work and then the Sobering (in more ways than one) realization that the line to becoming ADDICTED to Netflix has been crossed!

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Day 4 of SMB15! I’ve made it this far..I can make it further! I seem to have developed a dangerous, albeit not surprising, addiction to Netflix. THIS is going to cut into my regular social media habits when I do head back onto the interwebs. I did manage to go where no man, human, ghost, or Pied Piper wearing fishnets and a Packers jersey has ever gone before- my living room shelf… there was all sorts of motherfucking strange shit on that shelf in the corner of my tiny living room. All sorts of dolphins, aquatic statue things that I don’t remember buying, along with old phones that I haven’t used since 1987, and an ANSWERING MACHINE! AN ANSWERING MACHINE! I plugged it in…and it’s the same POS one I used between 1991-1995. That’s when I was working at LCP and always had it on so that if Biceps called me from the army base, I would get the message. My mom liked to let herself into my room at the old house, pick up the phone, and talk his ear off for hours. Which he usually didn’t have. Then when I asked “What did he say? How did he sound? Blah blah blah”, I would get an answer different than: “He sounds the same. far away. phone breaking up, etc etc.”…. Galdun probably remembers that answering machine- it played “Hot Stuff/Bad Girls” by Donna Summer. WHY did I pick that? No fucking idea, seriously! I was probably falling down drunk and thought it was a good idea… anyway, my brother must have found it while moving all the shit from the old house to my little house in 2011 and threw it behind the seahorse collection that I accumulated.. I hate seahorses! Why do I have the epitome of a seahorse family here? Why did he save my answering machine? Garbage time, folks!

Decided at dawn to install Windows 10 on my PC. That’s why I didn’t get more blogs written in the hours before work! It took FOREVER. and it fucking sucked. Like my friend Ronnie, my putting in that version screwed up all sorts of shit on my PC. Not sure if it’s even completely installed. It kept trying to install, then I would get an error message saying “Did not install updates. Restarting Computer now”. This went on for TWO HOURS. Before I said “Fuck this shit” and signed off to go to work. I should have known it wasn’t going to work….MERCURY RETROGRADE! Will try again after Oct 6th when this retrograde stuff goes away.

Try to convince several of my coworkers they need to read more. Tell Dan this…he does more Sudoku instead.
SUDOKU. Since I love Sudoku, I can’t really argue. But I try to convince him to read more.
Then in describing Holly and I to a belligerent old bat customer at the store, he says “Was it the older girl? Or the younger girl?” By the way folks, I’M THE OLDER GIRL! Color me not pleased. LOL. Dan meant no offense, or so he said- after I broke all his fingers.
Nicole informs me she’s “bored” and wants to “fight”. The laid-back way she speaks the entire day leads to me declaring her Pauly Shore. She is confused. Dan and I rattle off some Pauly classics. I hope she looks into them. And then never uses that voice again.

When did these pharma commercials start calling Hepatitis C “Hep C”??? It sounds like some trendy surf apparel store or very close to Hi-C, which makes me very unhappy, as I am a fan of the old Hi-C (Ectoplasm Cooler, please).

My neighbor next door (the one who doesn’t call the cops when I blast “Notorious” at midnight) informs me that she talks to Sasha, my cat, when he’s sleeping in the window, and that he HISSES at her.
MY LITTLE SWEETHEART? NEVER! LOL

Customers- old coots in Coldwater Creek knock-offs- come in and loudly browse the store, talking down displays, physical books, and loudly proclaiming they “don’t buy books like this, I get them on my Kindle”. SIT ON IT, BITCHES!!

I’m not sure if Bernard Sumner’s revelation that “Blue Monday”‘s bass line was inspired by a disco song called “Mighty Real” by Sylvester is going to affect my life in an adverse fashion, but it puzzles me for HOURS. HOURS.

I HATE THE RED WINGS!

Janelle Monae is cute.

Watch “Fast & Furious 7″…not too bad (this was forgotten in Monday’s post)

Began watching “Luther” on Netflix…why did I wait so long????? Idris Elba IS cool enough to be James Bond, Pierce Brosnan. You’ve been hitting the asparagus bong again, dude.

Read 3 different books- one 5 star, one 4 star, one 2 star.

Listened to the new Duran- Paper Gods- when trying to fall asleep. Still trying to figure out where my band is in that album. Flip on WDRV-FM 97.1 to listen to my buddy Greg Easterling instead. Fall asleep with no problem -and no, that’s not meant as an insult!

Watched “Ellen” broadcast with Duran. I love Ellen. More importantly, I’m convinced she truly likes Duran Duran. I’m not altogether sure where I stand on that right now. Yes, you read that right.

This fucking blackout may be affecting my brain- being separated from my Duranies may be hazardous to my health!

Until tomorrow, folks, I rock on. Thanks for reading my gibberish!

SOCIAL MEDIA BLACKOUT, DAY 3, RATED G (The “Work For Love” edition)

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Day 3! Tuesday, September 22, 2015
…normally a day that is known by any number of names: Topsy Turvy Tuesday, Tsunami Tuesday, Tuesday Screwsday,(if I’m lucky enough to be off, it’s called #TurntableTuesday) etc, etc. A wild day in Bookville normally. Without social media to distract me? It could have been DISASTROUS! Instead, with one or two exceptions, it wasn’t bad.

Today’s edition brought to you by me. And my bookstore. And my coworkers. And my friends who stopped in out of worry because the fuckers didn’t read my Facebook post and notice that I’m OFFLINE til Sunday. Somehow, all of these PRODUCTIVE posts from all my blogs that have been woefully neglected for months, made them think some mad scientist or undercover CIA agent kidnapped me and forced me to write and leave Facebook. Ha ha! So here’s the rundown on Day 3. I apologize it’s not as exciting as my day off posts are, but that’s the brakes, kids. I have to behave accordingly at work, so my day recollection is not that fun. I apologize, in advance.

Up at the crack of dawn. Trying to qualify for the K-Hits Hawaii trip. No dice! This blows…. get to the gym and decide I’m tired and much on my mind, so go the yoga route. Blondie Tutu and Cheetah Jeans (the new girl) double team to talk me into doing Zumba. I nicely decline, citing my limbs staying part of my person and not being strewn on the ground behind me the first time I do it, but they keep on me. I promise to think about it, mentally doing the “Billy Idol Crucifix Motion” so it really doesn’t mean anything. I’m gonna burn, folks!!!
By the way, Janet Jackson’s Greatest Hits? Good to do yoga to….

Popeyes chicken tenders and shrimp do NOT pair well with peanut butter & jelly. I ate lunch late and dinner early. The two did NOT mesh well. I tried to mix it up. Thankfully, I didn’t vomit it up!

The Muppets are hilarious. I wish it was a longer show. I loved it!

Holly coins a new book term= BOOKIST. One who is elitist toward one sort of book more than another.

EDC is renamed Eclectic Clown Carnival.

The handbag looks less and less her age, and I look more and more my age. THIS must be changed! Time to cut the hair, redye it a new color, and stop wearing Burr Ridge Yuppie Housewife Clothes (shudder).

Leaf Paddles- what are they good for?

I ask Nicole how she’s doing on SMB 15. She bitches that she is “bored” and “it sucks that I can’t talk to friends on Facebook. I have to text them instead”. I ask how her productivity has increased and have the impression that it hasn’t- unlike myself, who has found her focus again. I am greatly disheartened by this. Almost as much as my staff wanting to knit cable cars and do Sudoku than read. Very disheartening.

I inform Holly that I am now calling her “Bubbles”, like her mom and John. I get hip checked. WTF?

Books: Read two: Smell of Other People’s Houses by Bonnie Sue Hitchcock.
Seriously Wicked by Tina Connolly.
Tread my way through the Bernard Sumner autobiography.

Holly’s rep has to cancel meeting b/c her car got booted. Verbatim: “I don’t know what happened.” When Holly says this, I inform her I KNOW what happened: MERCURY RETROGRADE! You selfish bitch.

CUBS WIN! Sox- who cares?

I HATE the Red Wings. Go Hawks! Marvel again that the Hawks-and hockey players in general-only have three months off and they come back to their season..and they TRULY do have the contact sport of all sports. They have the toughest sport and get the shortest vacation. Unfair!

Cleaned out cabinet above stove- find popcorn tin from 3 years ago. Anyone fancy some AGED white cheddar popcorn? Heavy on the aged.

Why does Walmart sell uncooked rotisserie chicken? And how do they get away with it?? Bueller, Bueller?

Ch. 26 used to be “The Comic Stop”, now it’s “The One Liner Diner”….
Doesn’t fix the lames known as Kevin James!!!

The Geico commercial featuring Europe performing “The Final Countdown” is hilarious. Too bad the microwave doesn’t nuke the band…

Blogs: 3 written.

See, friends? A bunch of idle ramblings and not much else. But still – NO Facebook and NO Twitter. I am NOT at all confident that Nicole is following the rules, but I FIGHT ON! Until tomorrow, hombres!

YOU CLEANED OUT THE FURNACE FILTERS AT 6AM? SAY WHAT????: DAY 2 of SOCIAL MEDIA BLACKOUT, G-STYLE

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That ^ fucking meme is PRECISELY part of the reason for doing this cockamamie social media banishment. If I was on Facebook torturing my DJ friends or arguing with Len about the best Prince song or wondering why my friends never invite me to a group dinner anymore, I would never have gotten the impetus to clean out those damnable furnace filters. You know the ones I’m talking about- they’re in the picture above. You’re supposed to clean them out every year before you turn on your furnace. And since I’ve had to turn it on several times lately (kinky!), I hopscotched to attention and cleaned them out- at 6am! But hey, laugh if you like, you procrastinating potato thieves, mine are done- are YOURS? Yeah, that’s what I thought.

Day 2: Monday(my 2nd day off of work) went well, and the days off of work were the ones I was truly worried about, for the world is my oyster and Facebook and social media wilderness were mine to conquer, like the Hinterlands in World Of Warcraft. But no, I resisted. I got a shit ton done. My oh-so-exciting exodus from the world of media bitching about Donald Trump’s straw comb-over was as follows. Again, I found more than enough fucking shit in my house that should have been done centuries ago…so that helped. Excuse the random thoughts that are precipitated throughout this post.. those are usually posted on FB timelines besides my own, and since those are persona non au gratin potatoes, here goes nothing.

Monday, September 21, 2015. Day 2 of SMB, 2015.

Up at 6am. Waiting for Fogel on K-Hits to give the signal to try to qualify for a trip to Hawaii. Heed the call and don’t get through. While trying to qualify, I’m bored waiting for the Keurig knock-off to work (it’s not doing so- THANKS MERCURY RETROGRADE, you selfish bitch!), so I clean and change the furnace filters. Then head off to the gym, run 3 miles with Blondie Tutu, get out and enjoy the sunshine. Gorgeous out. I limp past the Taco Bell, do NOT go in to get evil, delicious breakfast. Limp past White Castle, also resist their evil, delicious breakfast. Come home and start my monthly probiotic cleanse. If you want to know, it’s good to be near a toilet most of the day while doing this 3 part-probiotic cleansing drink torture. Which means- you REALLY don’t want to know!

Clean out half of my closet. How the fuck have I accumulated this much crap? Box up three boxes and send it off with AmVets, who happen to be in my neighborhood, although I got no notice. I nicely flirt with the cute young thing driving it and they take all the crap I have. Now almost cleared to put the wood down from the damage to my floor two years back. The rest will likely be Wed. night.

Dad: Watching Perry Mason when I wake up at the crack of dawn. The defendant is Mr. Durante. I giggle madly like a fangirl high on Cocoa Puffs. Dad then argues with me over his choice of lunch being a carton of milk and a tomato sandwich. A tomato sandwich is two pieces of toasted bread loaded with butter, and an entire tomato cut up between the two pieces of bread. THIS wins over a delicious grilled chicken breast and vegetable meal I’d made for both of us. Oh, well. I tried. He then enlists me in conversation about funerals, coffins, cremation, and the like. No one said we weren’t realistic in this house. 😦

News on the Web: Usually boring except for Jon Hamm FINALLY winning his Emmy! I happily Tweet that. You can’t hold Tweets that are from news search engines against me. Odd that it took so long and comes so soon after he ditches the long-time girlfriend. I see something about Nathan Fillion picking up the host of the Emmys, but cannot troll the Twitter to find out what this is about- NEXT SUNDAY, I catch up on all things of these importance. But I think of how sad it is if I were sitting home on a gorgeous Sunday night such as the one that just passed watching the fucking Emmys. No, friends, I got out and enjoyed some of that night time sky. Sad that millions were glued to the Emmys..really, is it that exciting??? Idle and random thoughts coming to me for no reason….

Food: Salad is REALLY no way to live. Or eat. I want pizza! I want pizza! I resist..and eat another fucking salad. It’ll be worth it to get into that Ms. Klaus Ho-Deer (instead of reindeer- a deer who is a ho–ho-deer) outfit in a few short months! Arguing with grilled cheese on gluten-free bread is no way to spend a night.

Read: two books: “Dark Energy” by Robison Wells and “The Blue” by Lucy Clarke.

Castle: Realize with the Season 8 premiere of Castle tonight that due to my social media experiment, that I cannot live tweet with Castle stars or fellow fanatics as I have in the past three years. Cry inwardly, as I do when I realize Nathan Fillion is now dating that cute Krista Allen who used to be on Days of Our Lives.
The episode of Castle itself? HOLY FUCK!!!!!
I wonder how many more fan fictions I can read in the next 5 days of the black-out

Sports Ball: It’s really no fun to watch The Sox these days.

Blogs: Three written.

Cat-Ville: I decided that Sasha, my overweight Gemini tuxedo cat, needs his own blog. I know you’ll be following. won’t you? If not, I fear his moodiness may scratch you.

Tupperware Wars: Fuck Storage Wars! I have your new show…TUPPERWARE WARS. Cleaned out under my dish cabinet. I find a TON of Tupperware, after telling Nancy that I had none…a TON! Do we keep them? Is it some weird misguided maternal instinct? You know, you burp them like you burp a baby? If you have no idea what I speak of, fuck you- you’re too young, Google that shit!

That’s it. Another fun-filled night. Wait until Day Tres!

SOCIAL MEDIA BLACKOUT 2015, DAY 1: (Or how to get your ass moving away from Facebook and Twitter!)

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I’m now on Day 2 of Social Media Blackout 2015: The Nicole & G edition. Again, why would I do something so goofy? And why would I drag Nicole with me? It’s as simple as this: a Saturday night working late and discussing how neither one of us can seem to break the shackles of social media. We are slaves to the rhythm of the Facebook, people! Add to it Tumblr for her and Twitter for me, and not a lot was getting done. Throw in a few customers who overheard our conversation and suggested getting a break from the distraction provided by social media. The more we discussed it, the more it made sense. Then Nicole was in the hospital for a while, and last week I needed some moral support to get me through more bad news on my Dad, and so finally, we agreed that the 20th-26th was the blackout week. I recall Nicole asking me if anyone else had done this before, and I told her I wasn’t sure. Oh yes, it’s a ‘thing’. But it’s not a whole week on the interwebs when they choose to declare this a ‘thing’- it’s a single DAY. We’re going on this for a full WEEK. The purpose is to catch up on all of the things we’ve been procrastinating about completing, and getting going on other things that should have been done, but weren’t because we can’t seem to stop scrolling through the newsfeeds of our friends, and hours have gone by with jack shit accomplished. So… on the heels of that declaration, I’m doing what a writer does- I’m chronicling it in a journal. Anyone who had access to this would likely not be able to make heads or tails out of it anyway, because of the chicken scratch handwriting. I also haven’t written anything out in full sentences. Not only do I do that most of the time, preventing people from having a damn clue what I’m talking about, but it also leaves open a chance for my mind to look at that open space and fill it with something that may be better than whatever the fuck I would have written normally…. so here goes, Day 1 of the SMB15, in the life of G (I forgive you if you all fall asleep). There is no rhyme, nor reason, nor format to this, so you may very well end up going “WTF” anyway. Oh well, I leave it open to your interpretations!

Sunday, September 20, 2015.
Ironically enough, this is my deceased godmother Carol’s birthday. I like to think had she been acquainted with social media as it is now, that she would have spent hours whiling away the days and joining every Slash and Brian Johnson fan site she could. Carol (and my friend Jennie, her daughter) are the primary reason I love GNR and AC/DC. So….I’ll dedicate this mess of a day to her memory.

Football, Football, Football.: Days after I joined my friend Daz’s FB NFL Tipping Competition group, I am horrified at the results of some of the games. More horrified knowing what some of my picks were! I should have known better than to bet on DA Bears over those pesky Arizona Cardinals, as the Cardinals have an A++ team, but I cannot undo my Bears loyalty that easily.

Football Commercial Observations: Geico Gambler is back? Kenny Rogers with his new face is likely to SCARE customers away, not bring them in. Yet here’s the commercial back again. Chicken Parm Peyton Manning has returned. High Pitched Peyton Manning is pretty funny to see (and hear). TOO MUCH MANNING! Toyota Jan has worn out her hooker heels on the welcome mat of commercials. Corona- an empty bottle washes up on the beach. The forlorn surfer wannabe looks out over the tranquil waters, and suddenly, a group of new friends appear! If this were me in the commercial, why not give me a full case of Corona and keep the fucking friends? Yeah, solidarity and Corona on a beach sounds great. Damn straight. The Coneheads Geico commercial is fucking awful and needs to be hung out to dry, along with Ackroyd on a clothesline in South Bend. Vega Nova and I discuss the pros and cons of Corona and Da Bears, via text. A good time is had, except the Bears getting their asses handed to them.

More Football. Bears edition: When the fuck did AZ get this good? Tofu Cutlet actually looked good until the IT and then the subsequent takedown and injury after he tried to tackle Anderson. He went down and appeared to have wonked his head and injured his shoulder, and gone he goes. I cheer happily for the Pickle, whose cause I have been trumpeting for months, and things spiral (like the football) out of control. We had some good plays, but our D-line is as existent as my sex life. Muscles and I text about football, but that spirals quickly out of control when my Bears are hung out to dry. End of text convo til next time. My Bears defense may look like swiss cheese, but I still love swiss cheese.

Blogs: Two written, two published. Chapters in the book (the fiction): 2.

Doctor Who marathon on the Beeb: Tom Baker’s Doctor is very likable and quirky. Still digging those outfits. STUPID DALEKS. David Tennant is cute. Donna is a lot cooler than Clara. Martha Jones is a lot cooler than Clara. Rose Tyler is a lot cooler than Clara. I really do not like Clara. John Barrowman is super hot when he says those magical words, “An Explosion waiting to happen”. I have too much eye makeup in my purse. I have shitty nail polish. David Tennant is a hell of a LOT sexier with glasses on. Matt Smith is still the better Doctor, in my opinion.

Dinner/Groceries with D and G: The arrival of D at 5pm coincides with one of the Weeping Angels episodes. We got to get dinner. One glass of Mondavi cabernet renders me useless for most of the rest of the night. DirecTv remote batteries are a bitch to get out when you need to change them! WTF. Waiter at dinner has hot cross buns. The type I AM allowed to munch on. Trader Joe’s- the hottie who resembles my first ex, Biceps For Jesus, is there. I almost trip over the entire coffee display in my eagerness to view his shoulders.

Clean the house. Am alarmed that with just myself, my overweight lazy cat, and my immobile and sick father, it gets that bad in a week’s time. Locate my scale, jump on, and am instantly sorry I did so. Finish one book, almost done with another. Pick up my tiger latch-hook and start working on that again. Hope to finish by Christmas.

Begin to clean out my closet so that Nancy and I can get the plywood down in my closet where I had damage to the floor from my water leak two years ago. Locate many items that I have no idea why I own. Throw out those same items to clear room. Still no fucking idea why I own some of these items!

So..that’s the exciting rundown of Day 1. I got through okay, and only had the shakes to go on Facebook once or twice. That passed. If my homies are still there when I get back, well, that means they like me! If not, well, they’re fuckers for leaving while I was not there to notice or talk them out of it! LOL.

Until tomorrow, folks.